I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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