there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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