with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
