I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
