She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
