wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
