if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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