I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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