I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
