Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
