Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize