respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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