and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
