Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
