just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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