If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
