Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i came on her dog
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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