I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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