Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
