chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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