I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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