I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
