I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
