You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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