I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
