yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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