I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
