Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
