Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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