you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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