Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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