Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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