I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
