my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
