bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize