seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
