i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
and she was petting her beer can
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
