i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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