uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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