Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
