saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
