Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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