people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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