He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
