I can feel you judging me through the phone.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
