I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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