He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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