Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
