I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
