I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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