What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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