It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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