Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize