I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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