i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We are two peas in an std pod
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
