Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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