i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
