am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
