So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
