You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
