i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
